Statistically one in five couples will seek some form of legal advice over their relationship during the month of January. While most of us pack up our Christmas decorations, many Brits will also be calling time on their marriages. The first Monday back at work after the holiday season has long been dubbed “Divorce Monday” – the day of the year where people make the most enquires about divorce. You’ve heard of Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday, Black Friday and Small Business Saturday, but for divorce lawyers, we have – Divorce Monday. In fact, the whole month of January sees more divorce filings than any other month of the year. This is a desperately sad state of affairs and I not a Myth.
But why is there such a rush to divorce as soon as the New Year begins? In some respects this kind of makes sense. As we reach the end of the old year and prepare for a fresh start, it’s natural to take stock, assess the areas of our lives that aren’t working and vow to make dramatic changes. For some this is to lose weight or give up the booze but for others they look for to make a more significant change vowing never to experience another Christmas like the last, festive celebrations tend to put your relationship in the spotlight, and its glare is often unforgiving balanced against the perfect family Christmas marketing campaigns. Your own family unit can seen a marked contrast to this setting.
There are several reasons people wait until January to begin the divorce process. For families with children, the biggest reason to wait until January is emotional. Many parents want to give their kids one last Christmas together as a family. Another reason is that the holidays are full of work parties and events with friends and family and some couples want to delay explaining to everyone why their significant other isn’t in attendance. New Year’s resolutions also likely motivate some divorces. And on a practical note, tax purposes and schedules certainly come into play at the end of the year. Your marital status on December 31 determines your marital status for the entire tax year. For some, marriage is a tax benefit, so they wait until the new year to begin a divorce. Also, with vacations and court closings, November and December are logistically tough for scheduling meetings and all the other things that come with divorce.
Financial strain can also have a huge impact on whether a couple consider divorce. A recent survey by Censuswide supports this theory. The research polled a total of 1,000 divorced and married people and found that one in six said that financial difficulties such as unemployment had, or would have, an impact on when they divorced. In comparison, only one in eight stated that the timing of divorce was, or would be, affected by family holidays, including Christmas.
If you’re considering ending a marriage this month, here are a few things that can help. First, understand your options to include relationship counselling together with the differentt methods of conflict resolution. One can save you from a lot of costly conflict and retain on going respect and dignity which is particularly important were children are involved.There is desire from every direction to see divorces carried out in a fair and amicable manner. Family law judges are very keen for couples, especially parents, to try to resolve disputes before resorting to court proceedings. We very much support this approach where appropriate and have one of the longest standing out of court dispute resolution departments in the North West.
Do your research and get your support tools in place to help you through whatever process you decide . This is why we work with the charity Kids In The Middle to reduce the impact of divorce and separation on children by providing a support network for people affected. Charities such as Kids In The Middle come in as they have gathered information and resources from people who have been in the same situation to provide a voice for children caught up in divorce at their website www.voicesinthemiddle.org.uk. It’s a rapidly growing charity as increasing demand builds up its very existence.
Duncan Fisher, who set up Kids In The Middle, said: “Being a teenager is hard enough and having their family life drastically changed at a crucial and often already stressful time in their lives, leaves many young people feeling alone and lost.
We want to give people a chance to speak to family experts as well as other young people so they can better handle the emotions and stresses that come with this situation. This is why we also work closely with Sue Atkins a parenting consultant who is an internationally recognised Parenting Expert, Broadcaster, Speaker and Author of the Amazon best-selling books “Parenting Made Easy – How To Raise Happy Children” & “Raising Happy Children for Dummies”
She regularly appears on the award winning flagship ITV show “This Morning”, BBC Breakfast and “The Jeremy Vine Show” on BBC Radio 2 and is the parenting expert for many BBC Radio Stations around the UK. She is a regular contributor on radio and TV and her parenting articles are published all over the world. Sue has created a number of tools to help parents prepare themselves and their children through the maize of separation and Divorce. This includes most helpful Divorce Cards encouraging conversations with your children or even your lawyer
Check out our dedicated webpage dedicated to providing you with helpful tools to help you through this process. http://174law.co.uk/personal-services/impact-of-divorce-on-children/
No one should have to stay in a relationship that makes them unhappy, and in some instances ending a relationship is the very best way to begin the new year. But I think we need to be more honest about the fact that Christmas is hard, and it’s normal to spend at least part of it hating your partner. The way you feel about each other at the end of December might not accurately reflect your relationship during the rest of the year. If you’re still talking to each other at this point, it’s probably worth seeing how January goes before you get serious about serving papers.
For more details contact a member of our family team here